The Begining of the End
by kohano haru
Summary: I will marry you, Sai. Sakura said. Go back home to your impregnated girlfriend. She screamed at Sasuke. Don't kill him Sasuke! Naruto! Her voice tembled. Don't die Sai! she wouldn't lose him. Read more and be amazed. R E V I E W!
1. Chapter 1

Italics/bold: Sasuke speaking in flashback

Underline/italics: Sakura speaking in flashback

Italics/normal: Sai speaking in flashback

Bold/normal: Naruto speaking in flashback

Script: Sakura present thoughts.

Normal: present day

_**Six years ago:**_

"_Why do you always stay silent?"_

"_Why won't you tell me anything?"_

"_**Why do I have to tell you anything?"**_

"_**It's none of your business. Stop concerning yourself with me."**_

"_You've always hated me huh?"_

"_Do you remember…the day we became genin and our team was first chosen? You and I were alone here and you got mad at me, remember?"_

"_I said that it was because Naruto didn't have parents that he was so obnoxious, because no one was there to get mad at him. You told me that you couldn't compare the solitude to your parents getting mad at you."_

"_**I don't remember."**_

"_Makes sense. That was something that happened along time ago. But that was the day everything started, you and I, and also Naruto and Kakashi-sensei."_

"_The four of us completed a lot of missions together, they were tough and a lot of work, but above all it was fun."_

"_I know about your clan, but revenge: that won't make anyone happy. No one. Neither you…nor I."_

"_**Just as I thought. I'm different from you guys. I walk a different path then you. I tried to think it was my path to do the things we did up until now. The four of us did things together but my heart decided on revenge in the end."**_

"_**That's my purpose In life."**_

"_**I cant become like you or Naruto."**_

"_Are you going to choose to be alone again?!"_

"_On that day you taught me that solitude is painful!"_

"_I understand that so well right now. I have family, and friends, but if you're gone then…to me…It'll be the same as being alone!"_

"_**From now on a new path will open for all of us."**_

"_I…"_

"_I love you so much. If you stay with me I'll make sure you won't regret it. Everyday will be fun. We'll be happy. I'll do anything for you. So… please stay here. I'll help you with your revenge. I'll do something. So please stay here…with me."_

"_If you can't stay here…then…take me with you."_

"_**You really are annoying."**_

"_Don't leave… If you do I'll scream."_

"_**Sakura…thank you."**_

That day changed me so much. It made me so much stronger. It brought a great question before me though. Does loneliness make you stronger or is it the determination to find what you have lost that makes you strong? Naruto was lonely and became stronger because he wanted to prove himself. Sasuke's parents died and he became stronger trying to find his lost happiness. I lost my heart and became stronger trying to replace it. I wonder what truly fuels strength. I guess it's an answer never meant to be taught but to be learned.

I pull the cherry blossom from my hair and take my hair out of its ponytail. It's the same length as it was when he left. I don't know why I don't let it grow out or cut it shorter. I guess I just like my hair like this. I began to fiddle with the flower in my hand. The petals feel smooth and soft against my callous fingertips. I am not surprised to find myself unable to cry. I feel as though I should be crying. My heart hurts so much at the moment, but my tears no longer grace my heated cheeks with their cold presence. That wasn't even the last time I saw him.

_**Four years ago:**_

"_How many times do you plan to stab us in the back before your happy?!" _

"_**Sakura."**_

"_Sasuke…kun"_

"**Sasuke"**

"_**Naruto…So you're here too, eh?"**_

"_**That would mean Kakashi's here too, right?"**_

"_Sai! Just as we thought you're after Sasuke's head."_

"_**So is he my replacement? He was talking about wanting to protect the bonds between me and Naruto or something. Look like another drop-out has joined."**_

"_It's true that my mission was to kill Sasuke. I'm not following orders anymore. I want my choices to be my own. Naruto-kun just may be able to get me to remember how I once felt. I have a feeling it was something very special."_

"_I don't know you very well but there must be some reason Sakura and Naruto are trying so hard to get you back. Trying to keep the bonds between your from breaking. Trying so hard to keep them. I haven't quite figured out why but Sasuke-kun you should understand."_

"_**Yeah I understood. That's why I cut them loose. I have another bond. A bond called hatred…for my brother."**_

"_**Having to many bonds deludes you. It makes what would have been a strong desire, an important memory, weaker."**_

"**But if that's so…If everything is as you say then why…back then…didn't you…"**

"**Why didn't you kill me?! Or is that your way of cutting bonds?"**

"_**Naruto it's simple. It's not that I didn't cut those bonds. I just didn't want to acquire power his way."**_

"**What are you talking about?!"**

"_**There's no need to explain it to you."**_

"_**Although, there is one thing I want you to know. I saved you only by a whim."**_

"_**Come to think about it didn't you have a dream to become Hokage?"**_

"_**So shouldn't you have used that free time to train instead of chasing me around ?Am I right, Naruto?"**_

"_Sasuke-kun."_

"_**So this time at a whim of mine your life will be lost." **_

"**How can a person that can't even save one friend ever become Hokage? Am I right…Sasuke?"**

I pulled one of the four petals off of the Cherry blossom. I smirked. It was so easy to tear off. I wonder is this how the gods felt when the screwed up my life. Did they pull away my solid strings and smirk and laugh at seeing how easy they came apart.

Sasuke had tried to kill Naruto. He had tried to run him through with a sword. Sai jumped in to save Naruto and took the blow. That's when I realized it: Sasuke, the Sasuke I fell in love with was gone. He had died a long time ago and my heart with him. Now my body would belong to another but never my heart. How I wished I could have given my heart to this person who loved me but I didn't have a heart to give. Neither did he, however.

_**Two years ago:**_

"_Sakura, I know you will never truly love me. That's okay because in a way I will never truly love you. But you are the closest thing I've found to love in my life and I want to make you happy. I know that you will always miss him and love him but maybe if I am there you won't feel so lonely. Sakura, will you marry me?" _

"_Yes, I will. As long as you understand and except the limitations of our relationship. I will never love you Sai, but I will marry you."_

I broke off another petal. Finally a tear fell from my heavy eyes. I felt its wet substance travel down my cheek. It hung from my chin for a second that seemed like an eternity before falling down my shirt atop my chest. It was as if the tear could cool down my fiery heart but I knew it wouldn't. My heart was cursed to stay aflame forever. Always burning with the desire to love and be loved. The flames would burn my fragile skin but as much as I tried I could never put out the burning emotion that scorched me so.

In a way the marriage helped and in a way it hurt. It was…bittersweet. I had someone to come home to every day and someone to comfort me at night but I never had the pleasure of saying I love you or looking into his eyes and just feeling…loved. That was never there: love. It was hard to wake up every morning and know I was married to a man I didn't love, a man who didn't love me. He tried his best to make things as real as possible and for that I will always be grateful but there was a special place in my heart reserved for someone and he just couldn't fill it. He couldn't make me truly happy. He was there when I was hurt though. And that was more then Sasuke ever did.

_**Three years ago:**_

"_Sakura, there's no easy way to tell you this but…the Hokage just got new of your parents deaths."_

"_What?! N-no. I-it c-cant be."_

"_I am sorry."_

"_Why them? Why now?" _

"_Sakura, it something uncontrollable. It is the life of a shinobi. They died bravely. Be grateful. They told the Hokage to have me deliver this message: Be happy." _

"_Be happy? How? How am I supposed to be happy when everyone is deserting me like this?! First him and now them? Doesn't anyone care that I'm lonely?"_

"_I do. I care about you a lot, Ugly. I will always be here when you need me. Know that alright?"_

That's why I married him: because he was there. He cared enough to be there. I didn't love him but at that moment I needed him. I needed him even more when I found out the worst news I would ever hear of.

I pulled the third petal off the flower. Now only one remained. Such a fragile thing: so easy to destroy.

_**Two years ago:**_

"**Sakura I have…some news."**

"_What kind of news, Naruto-kun?"_

"**Well, the teme killed his brother."**

"_Naruto…Are you serious. That's great he is finally coming back. He will finally come home."_

"**Not exactly."**

"_What?"_

"**Teme gathered a team of three other ninja. He is trying to take over sound right now. Someone said they saw him with a girl hanging on his arm. The girl belongs to his team and…chances are he isn't coming home…ever."**

"_No. Why? It's not fair. I need him."_

"_Sakura it's okay. Come here."_

"_Oh Sai. Why does he hate me so much?"_

"_It's okay Sakura. I'm here."_

"_But he's not."_

"_His loss."_

And with that last heart breaking memory I pulled the last petal off of the flower. Now I sit with my back against a dead cherry blossom tree. Four petals lay scattered in front of me and in one hand I held the stem that used to hold together the four petals. It was the last Cherry blossom on the tree and I took the liberty of destroying it. I wanted to see how the Gods felt when they pulled apart my life. It turned out to be so easy it was amusing. I had destroyed the last cherry blossom of the season. The only difference between my name sake and I is that the flowers will bloom again. I won't.

A year from then we got news that Sasuke had become the official kage of the sound. A year after that we were all nineteen. I was the best medic nin in the world. My chakra control was perfect. I was one of the smartest anbu in the leaf and I was married to Konoha's newest stud. Sai had become an anbu captain and his emotions were coming back quickly. He almost said he loved me once but I cut him off with a kiss. I couldn't bear to hear those words from anyone but Sasuke. Naruto had just become Hokage and was successful in making a pact with the Sound. Yes Sasuke and Naruto met up every now and then to discuss business issues but they weren't really friends anymore. Naruto had given up on Sasuke and so had I. I decided to just wait life out and see how long it takes the God's to kill me. It seemed like they would enjoy watching me squirm, however.

I got up slowly from my place under the ironically symbolic tree and stood still for a second. I let the cold wind blow my hair around. Winter was on its way.

I knew Sai was on a mission. He wouldn't be back for a few weeks. I didn't like staying alone so I would probably end up at Naruto's tonight. He had married Hinata but of course she wouldn't mind.

I started walking absent mindedly and I was a little shocked to find myself at the bench by Konoha's gates. This was the bench he left me at. This was where my hell began. I timidly walked over to the piece of stone, my footsteps echoing in my ears. I could hear my heart beat louder with each step I took toward the center of my sadness. I slowly let my hand touch the surface of the bench. I ran my fingers over the smooth stone as if to make sure it was safe to sit. I slowly turned around and bent my knees lowering myself onto the horrible thing. I shivered as I realized I was sitting at the place it all started. It was where he told me I was annoying. It was where he left me in the night. It was where Sai proposed to me and now for the first time I sat here for no reason. For the first time I was aloud to sit on this bench without some meaningful reason. It was then I felt the presence beside me. I didn't want to look afraid of who was there to ruin my one moment of peace but I slowly let my head turn to see the figure sitting next to me. My mouth dropped open and my eyes went wide. Here next to me sitting on this bench that brought so many memories was the man that caused all of this: Uchiha Sasuke.

"Ironic, no? This is where we met. This is where we parted. Now we meet here again. I wonder what it means. Hm, Sakura?"

"S-sasuke?" I whispered.

"No –kun? I'm shocked. The rumors are false then. You don't love me anymore."

He had yet to look at me and it was ticking me off. The sight of him was making me mad. I had never felt this emotion towards him: hate. It was so powerful and…addictive. Hating him made me feel better. Maybe I truly didn't love him anymore. I wouldn't ask for a miracle.

"I never stopped. I never could. Loving you just came naturally and it always will." I spat that out with venom. I didn't know why admitting my love angered me so much. I have admitted my love for him many of times. Why do I feel this way now?

"Sakura, hate is a strong weapon. It's dangerous for a weakling like you to wield." Now he looked at me Sharingan activated. I looked away quickly. I wouldn't fall into his trap. He chuckled. What was so god damn funny?

"It is so easy to read you, Sakura. Understanding you is different however. I can read easily what your eyes say. You love me and hate me and…fear me. Yet you don't act kindly towards me, you don't attack me and you don't run away. You are so stupid."

I smirked. "The great Uchiha Sasuke can't understand something so he calls it stupid. You're the one who doesn't get it…stupid." He glared at me and I met his glare. He smirked.

"You're afraid. I can see it." He gloated.

"You really are stupid. I'm not afraid of you. I'm afraid of…loving you. I do not hate you. I hate loving you. You are insignificant to me. The only thing that matters to me is my love for you. But sadly since I love you, you are important to me. Understand now baka?" I asked now much more calm. I guess it does because I just rattled off something I didn't even know I knew. It made sense though and it was quite pleasing to hear.

"You're annoying. You know that?"

"You're a bastard. You know that?" He looked completely shocked. It only showed for a second but it was there and I was happy to see it.

"What? You didn't actually think I would break down in tears because a bastard like you called me annoying did you? It gets old and I get strong. I don't really care anymore. I have been through much worse then you calling me annoying."

"I lost my parents to my brother's hand and spent my life getting my revenge and you think you've been through a lot?"

"Oh I like this game. Okay let's see. I was weak and annoying and the guy I was in love with left me on a bench at night right after I confessed my love to him. Oh I know, then I had to watch that very same bastard, you know the one that left me on the bench, try to kill my best friend. Thank Kami he didn't succeed. But I'm not done yet. I then married a man I didn't love, and I won't mention he didn't love me, so that I wouldn't feel as lonely as before. Turns out the marriage were bittersweet. Sure I wasn't as lonely but I had to wake up every morning knowing I would never fall in love because my heart had been taken away from me and never returned. Now I'm done. What have you got?"

"Why are you being so immature about all of this? Take me seriously Sakura!" He jumped up from the bench and glared at me with those blood red eyes.

"I wanted you to take me seriously but you never did. Maybe I would take you serious if I knew you were serious. Why are you here? You are a ninja. You could have easily avoided me and left the village but no for some reason you had to interfere with the one moment of peace in my life and come over here to what? See if I still loved you? Why would you care? You don't love me anyway. So why don't you go back to sound with that pretty girlfriend you probably already have impregnated and stay away from me and my hell hole." I had officially lost it. He knew that. But from where I was standing. He had lost it to. He shoved me back down onto the bench landing atop me and smashed his lips on mine. His tongue licked my bottom lip and I knew what he wanted. I wanted it to so I gave it too him. Our tongues fought for dominance and in the end he won. He wasn't done yet though. Not even close. His hands began to search my body and I knew he wanted more and so did I so I gave it to him. I breathed out though: "Not here." He understood and teleported us both back to the Uchiha manor. Next thing I knew the clothes came off and the only thought I had was: He won't be here in the morning. But that's okay because he's here now. For the first time he's here.


	2. Chapter 2

I woke up the next morning expecting to be alone. I was more then surprised to see Sai asleep in a chair next to my bed. Does he know what happened last night between Sasuke and I. I hope not. I don't want to hurt him. I slowly use my hands to push myself into a sitting position. Predictably Sasuke was gone without a trace. With one hand I hold the blanket against my chest to cover myself with my other hand I reach out to wake my husband. Before my hand can even touch him I feel a pressure on my wrist. He had grabbed hold of my wrist and was staring at my intently. He looked deep into my eyes and I looked back into his. Did he know?

"Sakura…I…its okay. You needed it. You deserved it." He said. You could tell he was a little sad but when I looked into his eyes I knew he didn't feel the way he should. If he loved me it would have been more then 'It's okay'. But he didn't love me and for that I was thankful. I knew that if I ever needed to talk Sai would be there to listen. So I would talk now and he…he would listen.

"Sai, I love him. I hate loving him. I'm scared to love him. But I do love him immensely. I knew he wouldn't be here in the morning and I was satisfied with that last night. Now I wish I would have made him promise to stay. I am supposed to be strong. I don't want to be weak but everything always seems to go wrong for me. What did I do to deserve this?" Sai pulled me into an embrace and kissed me lightly on the cheek. He whispered in my ear: "Self-pity is dangerous. It will suck you into an endless void of sorrow. It will melt everything around you until you don't even have solid ground to stand on. Sakura, you are strong. Act like it. Don't let this bother you. You did what you needed to in order to stop the pain. It was an emotional release and it only would have been worse if he was here when you woke up. You did what you needed to, now what else must you do?"

I pulled away from him and smiled. He always knew what to say. He was right. I did what I had to. I felt better now and that's all that matters. Now I should continue with my life.

"Thank you Sai. I wouldn't survive without you. Now I'm going to the hospital. On my break how about we catch lunch together?" I said cheerfully. Or at lest as cheerful as normal. I pulled away from him and stood up. I walked over to the dresser in our room and pulled out some clothes. I decided to wear my ninja attire so I could train after work. I could feel Sai's eyes on me: watching every step I took. It wasn't a look of lust as much as one of protectiveness. I liked the way I felt when he watched me. I felt safe: untouchable. I knew I didn't love him but he was the closest thing to love I would ever feel.

Once I was dressed I headed off to work. Tsunade was in charge of the hospital. She took over the hospital when she retired as Hokage. I enjoyed spending time with her. She was like a mother and a best friend. A really old, drunk, best friend. I walked in to the hospital and smiled happily at everyone I saw. I would make today a good day if it killed me.

Today I died. I lost a patient who was rushed in after a mission. She was the first patient I ever lost. The worst part was she was an old friend. I had met her when I first got started in anbu. She was my captain and today she died at my hand. I couldn't help but wonder why I never died. I killed that flower yesterday. I tore it to pieces, but I killed it. The gods are tearing me limb from limb and yet I won't die. It's as if watching me fall apart is so fun that I am kept alive to serve as entertainment. I really just want to die.

I finally made it home and life seemed to hate me. What's new? Sai left a note saying that he would be on a mission for the next week. Guess where he would be? Sound. Sai doesn't seem like the jealous type but I can't help but wonder if he'll confront Sasuke. I hope not. I really just wanted to forget Sasuke for a while. Turns out that wouldn't be happening either.

I had just walked into my room to find once again something to prove how much I must be hated. There on my bed was the person who started everything. He couldn't just take advantage of my loss of sanity and leave me alone like a normal guy. No when an Uchiha does something he does it right. He was probably here to tell me something horrible. No doubt about it.

"Sakura…I'm sorry." He was staring down at the ground. His bangs covered his eyes from my view.

"About what?" I asked indifferently as I busied myself with cleaning something on my dresser. My back was facing him but I could still see him from the mirror.

"You know god damn well what." He yelled looking at me with those red eyes.

"No I don't. If you are apologizing for last night: don't. I am not sorry. I needed an emotional release. I needed you to be there for me. You were there and that's all that matters. You can go now. If you just came to tell me sorry because you felt guilty and didn't know how to handle it, it is best you leave…now." I spoke calmly but with all the confidence I ever had.

"Sakura…Did you use me?" Sasuke asked hiding the pain in his voice.

"If that is what you want to call it then yes. I am not ashamed though. You did the very same. You probably did it because your girlfriend wasn't satisfying but what does the reason matter." I spoke venomously now. Why couldn't he just go? At that he stood up and grabbed my forearm. He dug his nails into my skin and I could feel the warm liquid I knew was blood run down my arm and onto my fingertips.

"You think you were satisfying? Yeah right." He spat. Now he was just being childish.

"Oh just go back home to your slut and make another couple of kids you sick bastard." Two could play at his game. I just apparently didn't know the rules. He threw me onto the ground and towered above me.

"If you would stay calm for a few seconds and just ask how I've been I would have told you that I didn't have a girlfriend and the girl you are thinking about is a fangirl and nothing more. I don't have any kids and I am happily single." I was shocked. I had to reply quickly though so I just pouted and crossed my arms over my chest.

"If I would have asked you how you were doing I would have gotten a big fat empty 'Hn'!" I said sticking my tongue out at the end. I had lost the fight. There was no way I could prove he would reply with HN so that means I lost. Now it was time to act childish and hoped he called me annoying and walked out of my life…again.

"Hn." He said with a smirk as he stuck his hand out to help me up. I slapped it away and got up on my own. My arm stung from the cut he had made. I needed to heal it. I walked over to my bed and examined my arm before gathering chakra in my hand and healing it. Unfortunately, I had used most of my chakra on my anbu captain today so I was almost completely out. I could only heal the cuts a little bit. It was still bleeding though. Sasuke looked at me and rolled his eyes. He walked out of my room and I prayed he wouldn't come back. My prayers were not met, however, as he walked back in with bandages. He sat next to me and pulled my arm over his lap, none too gently. I winced at the pain and he mumbled an incoherent sorry. He then held my arm, more gently this time, and began to wrap the bandages around the cuts.

"You are annoying. So what did you waste all your chakra on, baka?" He asked.

"I _wisely invested_ my chakra in trying to heal my anbu captain." I let my tone drop to a whisper now. Sadness rang in my voice. "I…I tried my best. I healed all her vital wounds and I stopped all the bleeding. I was trying to stop the blood coming from a gash on her chest when…she…she had a heart attack. In the middle of the surgery. I tried my best to save her…I really did…but…she died. She was the first person to die at my hands when I was healing them. I have never lost a patient before. I'm supposed to be the best…but…I"

"Lost someone. Get over it. Be happy she's the first one you lost. You are good at what you do and she was a hopeless case. She was bleeding to death and even if you could have stopped the bleeding she had a heart attack. She was going to die. With or without you. Be happy you were there for her final moments." He said coldly. Even if his tone was cold I could still catch the sympathy he tried so desperately to hold back. He was trying to make me feel better. That was all I ever needed. He had finished my arm and he placed it back on my lap.

"Thank you Sasuke…Thank you Sasuke-kun." I said hesitantly. He looked at me warily as if waiting for the other end of the sword but it never came and soon he smirked.

"I knew you couldn't resist me…Saku-chan." He said huskily. I rolled my eyes at his antics.

"Baka." I said while I walked over to him and wrapped my arms around his neck. I leaned in to kiss him but he pulled away.

"No, I have to go." He said. I was about to break down in tears. I knew it! The moment I loved him again I would get hurt.

"I will be back next week; Sakura but…I can't do this with you. You're just a…friend." He said. My world fell apart right then. I was so sad that my heart stopped. It really stopped. It was five whole seconds before it beat again. When I felt the beats start up I wished they had just stayed still. I wished I had died right then. But if I would have died it would have meant something good happened to me. I would not ask for a miracle.


	3. Chapter 3

I sat under that same cherry blossom tree I had reminisced under not but a year ago. Not but a year and yet so much has changed. I could feel the soft burning snow on my bare feet and my body shivered from lack of warmth. I was in my ninja attire. A red tank-top and a white skort I had taken my shoes off a while ago and sat under this sacred tree of mine. Winter came last year and came again this year as I knew it would. The double edged snow fell from the heavens to the floor I sit upon now. The snow so pure and white: looks inviting, welcoming. As if begging me to sit upon it and be cushioned from the ground. Yet my skin meets the snow and its disguise falls. Now I feel its burning cold but yet my body will not move away from it. I look up at the sky and give a weak huff of laughter. "Gods, why do you do this to me? What have I done so wrong that I should be punished so cruelly?" I ask the absent guardians. My eyes are diverted from the heavens, however, as a dot of pink is caught in my vision's web. It's a flower: the last flower of the season. How did it live so long? I shift my body as if to get up but pause in my movements and let stillness take over so my thoughts can gather.

Why kill this flower as I have killed its mother. Maybe I should let it live to see how long it lasts. Why kill it when it has a chance. If it could live through winter then it will see more days.

I shift once more into a comfortable seated position. I could feel the rough bark move against my back. I could feel the snow burning-cold even still. I could smell the winter winds and all they carry with them. I could see…him. As I always do. As I always will. He invades my thoughts. Even in my purest sanities his angelic face takes over eroding the only ground I have left to stand on. He left me. That's what he will always do: leave me. That night he told me we were just friends. That night and this night share the same dates. In the past year I haven't spoken to him once. I saw him two or three times but never again did I hear him, smell him, or even feel the warmth of his skin. Sai had been in sound since that night. His mission was delayed and he had to stay an entire year. Tonight he would come home. But it was too late. I would be gone. My strings of solidity and sanity have been cut. My thoughts have traveled to the depths of my mind and never again will they return. Nor I. Never again shall I return. I had contemplated suicide a few times. But it never happened because it wasn't rational. I am already dead. The only thing that a knife could cut is the beating of my broken heart. My mind is lost and my soul: broken. My heart's two pieces no longer belong to me. I am already dead so a knife could kill me no more. I shall live out this tragic life and play my roll well. Maybe a reward shall come of this, but I would not ask for a miracle.

I stood up, shaky at first but I gained composure within time. I looked up at the flower one last time with a dead hope dully shining in my eyes, before walking away slowly. I started off towards my home. The day after Sasuke left I lost another patient and after that I gave up on my healing career. I no longer worked at the hospital. Now I spent all my time training or doing missions. When I realized I was no longer alive I took on all the suicide missions. I did not do it in hopes of dieing but looked at it as: I am already dead what is there to fear. Should I not offer all of myself, however little it is, to the safety of my village? Now I am a strong shinobi. I fight through my pain and have been emotionally wrecked so bad that I can kill without second thoughts. In fact I kill happily. I am doing a good deed when I take the life of another. I only wish to die but cannot. So taking the life of another is simply taking their future pain away. The future pain I know they will feel. The pain I have experienced first hand.

I was walking past the hokage tower and stopped to think. I looked up at the window and knew Naruto was right behind that window. He had worked his way up. He knew what he wanted to do. He knew what he wanted to become and he dived right in and went after his dreams. I just went from low to lower. I got nowhere and that's what I have to show. That's what I am: nothing. I petal in the wind. I was about to turn and go home when something weird happened. I felt something on my cheek. It was…wet. A tear? I haven't cried in at least a year. Why now? Is this my reward? For what? I didn't have time to contemplate this miracle any longer. There was a large explosion and it came from Naruto's room. I easily teleported into the room. I could smell the fire and smoke. I could barely see anything. I immediately called out to Naruto. "Naruto? Naruto!" I screamed. I couldn't loose him too. This couldn't be happening.

"Sakura. It's okay." That was…Sai. He and Naruto appeared behind me. I threw my arms around both of them and more tears came: crying felt so good, but having both of my boys felt even better.

"Naruto, don't ever leave me. Sai I missed you so much. I…can't do this anymore. I need…help. I need you guys." I cried out. Naruto pushed me off of him gently and looked into my eyes.

"Sakura-chan, I will never leave you. It's okay." I felt a warm presence around my waist and knew it was Sai's arm: holding me protectively. I composed myself just a little and looked at Sai.

"What…what happened?" I asked.

"A ninja tried to attack dick-less. He snuck up behind him and was about to strike but I stopped him. The ninja used an exploding tag and made his escape. Sorry dick-less. I should have moved faster and caught the enemy for interrogation." Naruto laughed and threw his arm around Sai.

"Don't worry about it. I'm alive right? Everyone else is okay that's all that matters." Naruto said happily. That happiness would soon fade however. Two anbu ran into the room carrying an unconscious body.

"Sir, we saw this sound ninja jump out of this room after this explosion. We believe him to be the cause." The head anbu said. Naruto looked at them astonished. Sai looked at me sympathetically and I just stared at the sky, now visible through the hole in the roof. The gods truly did hate me.

It had been a week since the attack. Today Naruto would meet with the council. Where else would I be found besides my sacred Cherry Blossom tree? I contemplated what had happened: A sound ninja had attacked our Hokage. That was punishable by death. There was no doubt the sound ninja would be put to death but what of Sound country. Why would Sasuke send a ninja to attack Naruto? The council has been trying to find a reason to go to war with the sound so it's not unpredictable what they'll think. Would the council really force Naruto to declare war on Sound? This is too much. Thinking about this is too hard. I can't understand all of this and I can't deal with it. My emotions are spinning out of control and all I want is to feel nothing at all. That is all I want. "Gods, if I am to remain among the living to amuse you at least take away this burden of emotions so that I may live on with ease." I cried up looking at the sky for an answer. When I looked up I noticed that the flower I spared earlier this week was still there. If it survives then so shall I. I ran top speed towards the hokage building. I could feel the wind whip against my skin. It was so cold but my mind was focused on my new goal: getting to Naruto. I had to know what was going on. I had to do something about this up-coming war. I could see Sai and Naruto walking out of the Hokage tower. Sai looked as emotionless as ever but Naruto looked completely different from his normal happy-go-lucky self. I couldn't stop the shadows from covering my mind and soul as I got closer and closer to them.

"What happened?" I panted. Naruto just looked away: a tear coming down his cheek.

"The council said that if Naruto doesn't declare war on the sound he will have to step down as Hokage." Sai said with the smallest hint of anger.

"They can't do that!" I yelled furiously as I grabbed Naruto by the collar. "Naruto get back in there and do something about this. You promised me you would bring him back if you can't do that at least keep him alive!" I yelled. Naruto looked at me surprised for a moment and then his eyes turned blood red. He pushed me away from him and all I could do was gasp.

"Sakura, I can't do that. He isn't worth it. I will not sacrifice my dreams for him! Stop acting like a helpless child. You know he never planned on coming back and he never will! Why do you want me to make you false promises?! It would be better if he just died! Why can't that bastard just die?!" Naruto yelled before clenching his fist and disappearing. Sai helped me up and held me close. I could smell his cologne as I buried my face in his shoulder. I couldn't even cry I was so stunned. Naruto had never yelled at me before. He was right though. I am just acting like a child. I am still trying to get help from others instead of doing things on my own. No more. From now on I will accomplish my dreams instead of sitting under a tree and crying to the gods. I pushed Sai away and ran. I ran as fast as I could. At first I didn't know where I was going but soon enough I knew exactly where my heart was taking me: the Uchiha compound. I had a plan and it would work. Sasuke will come back to Konoha. I know I'm asking for a miracle, but don't I deserve it? Yes I do.

Sai and Naruto were sitting at Ichiraku together. They both had ramen in front of them but neither was eating. They were just sitting quietly staring at their food as snow fell from the sky and pact layer upon layer of the soft frosty white matter on the ground. As children ran through the snowy streets playing games and mothers followed soon after their offspring, as couples talked and walked blissfully unaware of the peril of other's lives, Naruto and Sai sat depressed and thought of the situation at hand. The cold silence was broken by Sai.

"You were wrong. You know that right?" He said nonchalantly.

"Yeah, I do. I was just mad at… everyone and everything and she was there and...Now I feel bad but…" Naruto spewed out the words quickly with short pauses every now and then.

"She was wrong too. She shouldn't have accused you like that but she only did it because she didn't know what else to do." Sai said again nonchalantly.

"Maybe we should go and find her. You said she ran off right? We should make sure she's okay." Naruto almost whispered as he stood up and absent mindedly through some change on the counter before closing his eyes and slowly turning around to walk away. Sai nodded and followed Naruto. The boys wordlessly solemnly started their journey to find their_ lost_ friend.

"Sasuke-sama, we just received this scroll from a Konoha message bird." A low ranked Chunin spoke as he handed a scroll over to the Sound's ruler.

Sasuke read the scroll curiously but soon anger and even more curiosity took over. He looked angrily at the anbu who presented him with this scroll.

"Prepare an army to go to Konoha to attack. In three days I want three fleets of ninja: one of jounin and two of Chunin and genin. The first fleet consisting of jounin will go in during the morning and the surprise attack will begin. The second fleet consisting of Chunin and genin will go in afterwards when Konoha realizes a battle has been started and the last fleet will go in when needed. I also want a fleet of anbu to sneak into Konoha in two days and remain there until the battle. When the signal is given the anbu will join the battle." Sasuke spoke and the low-leveled Chunin took in every word like his life depended on it: for he knew not to anger his leader.

I had finally reached my destination and soft pants escaped my cold lips. I could see my own breathe but I didn't care about such meaningless things. Instead I opened the sliding door to the largest house in the Uchiha estate. I knew this was probably Sasuke's old home.

I walked into the house slowly. It smelt horrible in here. It smelt like…blood. I walked to the window and opened a curtain. Clouds of dust enveloped me and I coughed and sneezed the bothersome air away. Now that the curtains were opened I had the moon and starlight to brighten up the room.

Part of me wished I would have stayed in the dark. All over the walls were blood and the furniture was torn apart. Tables and chairs lay broken on the ground. No one had ever bothered to clean this place up? The shock I felt began to disappear. This was all Sasuke had left. Why would he want anyone to clean up the only thing his parents left behind? It made sense that he hadn't let anyone clean this place up. He probably came here often just to reminisce.

I stayed focused and headed for the back door. I had to try my hardest not to gag as gruesome images of slaughtered mothers and fathers flecked across my mind. I slid open the back door and stepped outside. They had a small garden that was oddly enough still in good condition. I walked down the cement path to the middle of the large yard and began to execute the first part of my plan: training.


End file.
